同志问答

主持人:Damien Lu (星星) 博士

Dear Xing, ...

sirer (先生) :

Dear Xing,

I am wondering how to find a sense of belonging for gay people? to be specific, for gay people who do not intend to get married with a straight female.
First, we will be repelled by 'normal' societies, such as dancing club, everyone would have their husband or wife, for a single gay, looks weird to them, and eventually won't be accepted.
Second, gay community is not tolerant at all, such as age, masculine, handsome, or talkative are crucial standards for acceptance, also in gay community, everyone is chasing for handsome man, this is the ultimate goal and nobody really cares about friendship or family like community.
Third, research shows that living alone will cause lots of mental concerns.
I do not think for gay who do not intend to get married, their lives are promising, aren't they?

Damien Lu :

Gay men can find belonging virtually anywhere. A person is not defined by his/her sexuality alone. When you can truly accept yourself, you'll find many people would accept you as well.

Some people in the a gay community might not be tolerant, but that does not represent all gays. If the gay community you hang out with are intolerant, you should leave and find or found a new community.

Living alone and loneliness are two different things. Plenty of married people are very lonely. Not being marriage and living alone, are also two different things and one does not necessarily lead to the other.